How to Talk

Welcome

We all know how to talk, don't we? 

At least we think we do, but Advancing to Greater is all about taking it to the next level, so let's see how we can improve...

We must begin by assessing how most conversations happen.  This is easily done by reflecting on how we each, ourselves, carry on conversations with others.  

Most people are constantly looking for an opportunity to say something, they are thinking of their next witty response, considering how to say something clever, and waiting to pounce on a pause in the conversation in order to say something.  

This is why most people, for example, struggle to remember someone's name - even if that person just introduced themselves!  It is because they were so focused on themselves and how they were going to introduce their own self to their conversational partner that they didn't even pay attention to their name!

This is the key!  We must realize that most of us are self-oriented people, that we are interested in ourselves and think of ourselves first.  If we are going to Advance to Greater, however, we must extrapolate this out and recognize that, since others are interested in themselves, if we are going to elevate our skill in talking, we must talk with them about the most important topic in the world to them: themselves!

How can we do this in two simple, concrete ways?

First, we must remember their names!  When someone introduces themselves to us, we must avoid our anxiety about how we will introduce ourselves - rather we must focus on their name!  (Don't worry, you won't forget your name when they ask!)

A person's name is the most beautiful sound in the world to them.  Know this fact, remember it, and you can be assured that your are far ahead of others in your skill in talking with people.  

Remember their name.  

There are endless tips and tricks to help you accomplish this but a good practice is to ask your conversational partner about their name, right after they introduce themselves.

"Hello, my name is Rich."

"Well, Rich, assuming your parents didn't know when they named you that you would become wealthy, what is the story of how they choose to name you Rich?"

This does two things: first it gets you to repeat their name back to them.  People love hearing others say their name and by repeating the name, you give yourself a better chance to remember it.

Next, by asking about their name, you have asked them to tell you their name again, but in a way that gets them talking about themselves (their favorite subject).

Second, we must intentionally limit our use of the words "I, me, my, mine" and instead we should work to incorporate the words "you" and "your" as much as possible.  This verbal shift tilts the conversational playing field in the direction of our partner and focuses much of the conversation on them.  It helps us talk with them about them.

Talk with them about their family, their career, things they are passionate about, and their recreational preferences.

Ask them about their opinions on various topics:

"What do you think of...."

"How do you feel about...."

You can also ask them questions about themselves - ask questions that will not result in a "yes" or "no" response. 

For example:

"Tell me about your family."  is a much better conversation starter than, "Do you have kids?"

"Where did you go on vacation and what did you do there?" is better than "Did you take a vacation?"

The better you can do these two simple things the more people will think your are a great conversationalist and the more they will like you:

Remember their names.

Limit "I, me, my, mine," and focus on using "you, your."

When you practice this you can achieve true conversational magic and get a person talking about their favorite topic: themselves.

Using other-centered language in conversation does require more effort and discipline at first, but you will quickly become skilled at it and it will then require less intentionality.  The rewards are great however, and well worth it!

Slavery

Welcome

What the heck?  Slavery?

Thing is, there is still slavery in this world - lots of it.
No, I'm not talking about sex slavery and human trafficking.
I'm not talking about labor slavery or sweat shops.

What I'm talking about it is slavery that is all around us, it has a firm hold of most people.
It robs people of their freedom, their joy, their very chance at success.

Debt is modern slavery.  It is financial slavery.

Debt has too many people on the ropes, beholden unto their creditors.  Debt service causes so many people to go to work nearly every day to give up much, or even most!, of what they earn and turn it over to their lenders.

Working all day to give the fruits of their labors to someone else.  Is that not slavery?!  To work all day and see little or nothing of your just reward?!

Debt is a killer.  Debt is a menace in the lives of too many people.  Perhaps you know someone who is in financial slavery?  Even more likely is that you know people who you think are doing just fine, but who are, in fact, financial slaves.

Doctors, Lawyers, Business Executives, Intellectuals, not to mention people whose job titles don't have nearly as much status!  Baristas, Car Sales Representatives, Real Estate Agents, Teachers, Police Officers, Clerks, Receptionists, heck, even Accountants!

I've met people who were earning seven figures who were financial slaves!  Their entire life was devoted to earning enough to make the next payment!
Sure, things looked good...

• Big house?  check.
• Fancy cars?  check.
• Jealousy-inspiring vacations (complete with humble-brag social media posts)?  check.

But it was all a sham.  They were broke.

• The big house : mortgaged to the hilt.
• The fancy cars : leased.
• The cool vacations : on the credit card.

They were running at what I like to call Financial Redline.
That's the level where there is as much (or more) money going out as coming in!  There's no reserve.  They're maxed-out.


Lots of people are living at Financial Redline.  Just look at how many American families live paycheck to paycheck.

People don't set out to live at Financial Redline.  People don't plan to work all day just to wonder at night "where did all the money go?"

Ask people and they'll tell you:
"It just happens"
"The money just disappears"

"I don't know where it all went"  

"I never thought it would turn out like this."

 Does any of that sound familiar?  Or does it sound like someone you know?

It sounds terrible is what it sounds like.  It is financial slavery.

Here at Advancing to Greater that will not do.  We seek the better way.

So - how do we advance towards greater from the point we are at today?

Step 1.  Immediately cut up your credit cards.

You are forbidden from putting one more thing on a credit card.  

Every rationalization for using credit cards is not worth the temptation to go further into debt.  Forget the points/airline miles/gasoline rebates/etc.  Those are merely the seductions of the devil (or pick your own favorite bad guy that is trying to get you further into debt).

Step 2.  Set aside $1,500 in cash.

This is your itty-bitty Emergency Fund for unforeseen expenses.  

This is cash that you are only allowed to use if there is truly no other way to cover the cost of some sudden, unexpected expense (like a flat tire).  If there is something that you can foresee having to spend money on in the future, from now on, you start saving ahead of time to be able to pay for it all at once when the time comes.  

Step 3.  Assess.

Gather up the paperwork for all of your recurring expenses and bills and money that you owe.  Grab a piece of blank paper and a pencil.  

List out on your piece of paper all of your recurring expenses and bills.  All of them.  

(Yes, even that $50 that you owe the dentist and the $30 you owe your friend Fred.)

Step 4.  Plan of Attack.

Re-write the list of expenses, bills, and monies owed in order from smallest total amount first to lowest total amount.  If you are looking at something like a credit card statement, you are looking for the total amount that you owe - not the monthly payment amount due.

Step 5.  Cut Back.

Start deciding what things you can do without (for now) in order to start backing off from the Financial Redline.  You've got to create a little breathing room so that you can start to make progress.

Here are some ideas:

• Cancel the cable service.
• Cancel the extra cellular service.
• Cancel the data service on your cell phone.

Now is also the time to develop a thorough Spending Plan.

Most other people would call it a budget, but here at Advancing to Greater, we prefer to use a more helpful name for it.

A Spending Plan is a plan for the money that will intentionally and specifically leave your bank accounts to pay for things.  A Spending Plan requires us to think about whether or not spending $20 per workweek at Starbucks is really all that wise.  It forces us to confront our bills and spending habits ahead of time so that we can assign jobs to each dollar that we earn.  Habits are really key to a useful Spending Plan.  Taking the car to be washed every week?  That adds up.  Does the dog really need to see a groomer while you are fighting off the shackles of financial slavery?!  

Think about your spending habits carefully.  Looking at your past spending by going through bank statements can be helpful and enlightening.

Use another sheet of paper to write out a Spending Plan for the next month.  Its okay to use general numbers at first.  After a few months of practice, your Spending Plan will be tight and every dollar will know what it is assigned to do ahead of time.

All 5 of those steps can be done in a day!  Congratulations.  You are seizing control and you are making progress already.  Now to start making real progress...

Step 6. The Debt Snowball.

From now on, as your payments come due, you will divert all extra money that you can find to paying off the smallest bills first.  On every other bill you will pay the minimum amount due.

For example, if you owe your friend Fred $30 and you owe the dentist $50, you pay Fred and the dentist first and then, with whatever extra money you have, you start paying off your other bills.

Next month, you pay the minimum amount due on all your bills, but you add the extra that you no longer owe to the next smallest bill with a balance outstanding.  For example, if you owe $100 on a gasoline credit card, you make your minimum payments on all of your bills, but on the gasoline credit card, you now include the $80 that you no longer have to pay Fred and the dentist.

The month after that you will pay off the gasoline credit card and take whatever is left over and pay that towards the balance of your next-lowest outstanding balance.

Dave Ramsey has a book about personal finance called Total Money Makeover and its section on paying off debt is the best around.  I disagree with much of what else he writes, but his debt snowball explanation and worksheets are the best.  If you have a significant other, buy two copies of the book so you can read it at the same time, together.

A debt snowball is a powerful tool.  Commit to it and do not deviate from the plan.

Step 7.  Growing your Emergency Fund.

Once your debt snowball has crushed your consumer debts, you are likely left with your car payments, student loan payments, and mortgage/rent.  We will take a breather at this point from the debt snowball and instead, divert the debt snowball money into your Emergency Fund until it grows to $2,000.  That two thousand dollars will be your new Not So Itty Bitty Emergency Fund, though the same rules apply.  This is for unforeseen expenses; ones that could not be planned for.  Anything that you could plan for must be saved for.

Step 8.  Deciding to downsize.

For most people, this is the appropriate time to consider downsizing cars and houses because using a debt snowball to pay down consumer debt should not take too many months.  (If you are in extreme financial slavery, however, downsizing might be a good idea as you begin your debt snowball.)

The cost and size of your house is the single-largest determinant of how much you spend every single month.  That is because it has a whole bunch of follow-on costs associated with it.  They have larger and fancier landscaping and a higher expectation in the neighborhood of how your property is supposed to look.  They use more energy and more water.  They tend to encourage the ownership of commensurately expensive cars.  They cost more to insure and they cost more to maintain.

The same goes for cars.  Bigger, faster, nicer, more expensive cars tend to cost more per month in payments.  They are more expensive to insure and maintain.  

Choosing to downsize your house and cars is a big decision for most people and I understand people's hesitancy to make such drastic changes.  Think, though, of how much those things are costing you and how much more you could pay off, and how much faster you could do it.  Then think of how much faster you can start saving and investing with lower overall ownership costs for both your home and car.

Step 9.  Debt Snowball part two.

Now we tackle the car loans and student loans.  Simply arrange them in the same way you did with the consumer debts, smallest total outstanding balance to largest.  Use the entirety of the amount from your debt snowball to start paying down your car(s) and student loan(s).
It is possible that you will have to specify how you want the extra money you are paying to be applied (to pay down the outstanding principal balance).  You may have to follow specific instructions in order to ensure that your extra payment(s) go towards principal reduction.  Feel free to ask the organization that you are making payments to how to do that - they will be happy to help.

Step 10.  Emergency Fund

Once your other debts are paid off, the only thing outstanding should be your mortgage, which we will come back to in a few months.  For now, though, we are going to build up your Not So Itty Bitty Emergency Fund into a Proper Emergency Fund.

In order to figure out how long to keep piling your debt snowball money into your Proper Emergency Fund, we first have to gauge a couple things.  The amount of money in this account should grow to be enough to allow you to survive for as long as you might need it to support you.  For some people whose jobs are very secure and whose risk of debilitating injury is very low, the amount can be quite a lot lower than someone whose income is riskier (like a real estate agent) or whose lifestyle is more risky (like an amateur extreme sport enthusiast).  For those with lower risks, an appropriate amount might be 3-6 months of monthly expenses.  For those with higher risks, an appropriate amount might be 6-12 months of monthly expenses.

One other consideration is how long would it take for you to get another job in your industry?  If you are in an industry like law enforcement where thorough background investigations take a long time, you might need more than if you are a sales representative.

Step 11.  Investing and Paying off the Mortgage

Now that all of your debts are gone except for your mortgage and you have a Proper Emergency Fund.  It is time to start investing.  Use some money from your final (biggest) Debt Snowball amount to divide between investing and paying off your mortgage.

Not everyone can be an expert at investing, since it requires so much time and attention.  However, I can simplify this for you.

First, when it comes time to invest, create an account for yourself at any of the major online discount brokers.  Do a little bit of checking around to see which you like best.  Click on the little "Open an Account" button on their page to begin the process - they will walk you through it.  Its easy, don't worry.

If your employer provides an retirement investment option, take it.  Whether it is a 401K or a 457b or a deferred compensation plan, take advantage of it.

The only advice I will give you here is to only invest in chunks of $500 or more.
I don't mean to tell you that you cannot set aside less than $500 per month, not at all!  You can transfer any amount of cash you want into your online investing brokerage account every month.
I just want to advise you to only purchase stock in blocks of $500 or more at a time in order to avoid paying too much in commissions.  Commissions are how brokerages make their money in order to provide their service to you.  If you are using a brokerage that charges $9.99 per trade, that ten dollars is 2% of each $500 that you invest.  That's why investing in $500 or larger chunks is wise - it helps to minimize your commissions.

Now here's what you invest in.

VTI is the Vanguard Total Stock Market Index ETF (exchange traded fund).  It is a fund which tracks the total stock market, not like the Dow with merely 30 stocks or just the biggest 500 as the S&P 500 does.  

Having that many stocks tracked in VTI gives you built-in diversification.  

Further, it is really really cheap to own, which is tremendously important.

The nice thing is that it outperforms the market without you having to do anything.  Here, look:

Now the other thing you must do is enroll it in a Dividend Re-Investment Plan (DRIP).  A DRIP will take the dividends you receive every three months and automatically re-invest them for you into more shares of VTI.  That will allow your returns to compound over time (Instead of having 100 shares of VTI you suddenly have 100.5 shares of VTI).  Usually DRIPs are free too, which is another added bonus.

Follow the free information about when to buy and sell VTI which is shared at the bottom of the posts at https://www.facebook.com/RBpublications/


Paying off the Mortgage.

Do you know what mortgage means?
Mort means death.
Gage means grip.
Mortgage actually means deathgrip!  Would you have signed up for one if you knew that?!

Each month pay down some of the principal amount outstanding on your mortgage.
Often you will have to specify how the extra money you are paying is to be assigned. Make sure that you follow whatever instructions your mortgage service company tells you for applying extra money towards the principal amount that you owe.
When I was doing this with Bank of America, I merely had to click a little dot next to my online payment that told BofA whether the payment was a regular payment or if it was for the escrow account only or if it was for principal only.

When you pay down your mortgage balance regularly you'll be surprised at how fast it melts away!


Step 12.  Legacy Planning

• Plan for your next car - you will never have another car loan payment so you need to start saving now.
• Plan for your kids' education expenses so that they don't start their adult life with a huge student loan.
• Plan for your next home.  You will never have another mortgage so you need to start saving now.
• Plan for your eventual failing health - its expensive, unfortunately.
• Plan for your inevitable passing.  Memento Mori.
• Plan your next vacation.  This one will not be going on a credit card - it'll be saved for and paid for in advance!  You'll be able to enjoy your vacation much more too, without the nagging dread of credit card payments stretching out into the future.
• If you have the means, plan for your kids' wealth and lack of debt.  Consult an estate planning attorney for the best means of transferring wealth down through generations.

Leave your comments and questions.  I read them all, but I may not be able to respond to them all.  Feel free to email me at rich@advancingtogreater.com

Do you actually know how to read?

Welcome.

Of course we do.  We're reading this right now!

Well, yes, if you are reading this, you are at least literate.

Keep in mind though that you are at Advancing to Greater.
I'm going to show you how to get more out of everything you read.  (Well, maybe this isn't the best way to read your latest fun fiction novel of whatever genre you're into...let's read those normally.)



Too often, we all notice that we have to re-read something we just read because we realize that we had merely passed our eyes over the text, without actually reading the words - or at least without comprehending what we took in.

Here's how to advancing your reading skills to a higher level using ogres.

Well, not really ogres.

That's just a mnemonic for OGRRS, a five-pronged approach to being better at reading which I've developed through much effort, research, and effortful study.

Overview

First, try to get an idea of what you are going be reading.  Get an overview, take a general survey of the material so that you can then...

Guess

Next, guess what the material is going to teach you.  Writing down questions that you expect the material to answer for you is extremely helpful, as your brain will immediately bring information to your attention when it provides an answer that you were looking for.

The purpose of the first two steps is prepare our minds for the material that we are about to read, this primes our mental faculties and our brains start thinking about all we know about the given subject.  This makes it easier for our brains to critically examine, comprehend, and assimilate the new knowledge that we are taking is as we....

Read

At last, we arrive at the actual reading part of the material.  Read the material thoroughly and with the expectation that the answers you guessed that you might find will be answered.  Do not allow your attention to wander though - we're not going to go looking for the answers to the questions we wrote down, we're just thoroughly reading the material here.

Sometimes, it is helpful to jot notes as you read.  If you're using your own book, jot notes directly into the book as you go, underline and highlight passages that jump out at you.  This is also a great time to note when your questions are being answered as you read the material.

Now we can...

Review

Were your questions answered?  Review the material again, focusing on the notes you took, the parts you underlined and highlighted.  If your the answers you guessed that you'd find were not there, why not?  Was it simply not covered by the material?  Or did you miss something?  If you missed anything jot down those answers now before we move on to...

Speak

That's right, we're going to talk to ourselves now!  I know, I know, it feels weird, especially at first. Super-especially in public.  You can choose best for yourself when and how to employ this step.

Recitation is however, the way we are all best-able to retain the information.  Start by reading aloud your notes and underlined and highlighted portions first.  Next, we will read aloud our questions and answers.  The last step is to see if you can recite a short summary of all of the important information within what you just read.  If you can, it is most likely that you will remember it.  If you are realizing that you cannot recite some parts, go back and re-review those parts aloud.  Then try again to recite a summary - covering all the important points - from memory.  Once you can do that, you are done.

Whew!  That's a little bit more effort than what normally goes into reading something, but it is well worth it.  As you put this into practice, you will join those of us who use this awesome technique to advance their reading, comprehension, and retention of information to a greater level.

This is also a technique that is easy for us all to apply to smaller sections.  You can use the OGRRS method of reading not just for a whole book, but for a chapter at a time.  This is especially helpful if you are reading through material in a structured way, such as when we take classes.



That's it.  Using the ogres to help your reading advance to a greater skill level is awesome, and it will pay many dividends in life.  Being the one who remembers more is helpful, and it is certainly faster than having to look things up all the time.  It helps at work, in our hobbies, and in our private lives.

Enjoy, and I wish you the best of luck as you make use of this technique.

Let me know what you think, please.  My email address is rich at advancing to greater dot com.
Thanks!

Welcome to Advancing to Greater

I have decided to create this to satisfy a burning desire I feel inside of me to share valuable information with others.  Too often, I see people who are operating blindly, taking advice from anyone who offers it and stumbling through the world as life pushes them about.

I offer this as a place of common-sense and as an ever-growing well of knowledge for weary Internet wanderers and knowledge-seekers.  Much of what I will share here will seem obvious to the casual reader, but most people will find that they had been lacking the simple crystallization of this knowledge and how to apply it to their lives.  I hope to offer simple truths, success secrets, and financial information to any who would like to start winning at life.

This world, your life, and those around you will respond to your actions, to your sense of purpose, to your passion.
They will also react to your inaction, your lack of direction, your apathy.

Are you going to steer your ship?  Or are you going to let the winds of life blow you around?

You can change the course of your life.  You can project yourself into a greater future.
Winning at life is fun; it is rewarding, exhilarating, and satisfying.

I'm glad you're here.

Welcome to a life of Advancing to Greater.